5 Signs Your Child is Not Ready for Potty Training

Signs Your Child May Not Be Ready for Potty Training

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Potty training is a big milestone for both children and parents. The prospect is exciting, dread-inducing, and wonderful.

But how do you know when your child is ready to start the potty training process? And what if your child shows signs of resistance or anxiety?

There is no one right age or time to start potty training. Every child is different and develops at their own pace. Some children may be ready as early as 18 months, (fistbump to you if you have one of these golden children>) while others may not be ready until they are 3 years old (or even older!)

As eager as we might be to be done with diapers, as parents we must be on the lookout for signs of readiness.

We can’t rush the process and we can’t “make” our child magically “ready”, Our babies get to tell us when they are ready. But what are signs our toddler is or isn’t ready to potty train?

Let’s start with the latter.

What Indicates Your Child is Not Ready for Potty Training?

If your child shows any of the following signs, it may indicate that they are not ready for toilet training yet:

• Your baby doesn’t show any interest in using the potty or wearing big-kid underwear. They may even refuse to sit on the potty or try to avoid it altogether.
• Your child does not have a regular bowel movement pattern or does not stay dry for at least two hours at a time. This may mean that they are not able to control their bladder or bowel muscles yet.
• Your little isn’t understanding simple commands or communicating when they need to go. They may not be able to words like pee or poop yet, or they may not tell you when they have a wet or dirty diaper.
• Your child shows signs of fear or anxiety about using the toilet. They may be scared of the noise, the flushing, the water, or the possibility of falling in.
• Your toddler is constipated, has a urinary tract infection, or has other medical problems “down there.”
• Your child is going through a major change or stress in their life. This could be a new sibling, a new daycare, a move, a divorce, an illness, or a death in the family. These situations can make your child feel insecure and cling to familiar routines.
• Your baby can’t take off or put on their pants.

If your little one is showing the above signs, and you are concerned, speak with your pediatrician. However, these signs your child is not ready for potty training could very well be completely developmentally normal.

What is the Average Age to Potty Train a Child?

The typical age for toilet training varies depending on the child and the culture.

In the United States, the average age for going int the toilet is between 2 and 3 years of age, and most children are bowel and bladder trained by 4 years of age.

The usual age to potty train falls somewhere around 27 months.

Of course, every child is different and develops at their own pace, so it is important to keep tabs on your toddler’s milestones. As parents, we need to make sure we are neither pressuring them into something they’re not ready for nor holding them back from using the toilet if they really want to.

Which beckons the question: What are those signs of readiness?

What Are 4 Ready for Potty Training Signs?

The signs your child is not ready for potty training turn out to pretty much just be the inverse of the the signs your child is ready for potty training. Here are those signs and the reasoning behind them:

• Your child shows interest in using the potty or wearing big-kid underwear. They may ask questions, watch you or others use the toilet, or want to sit on the potty themselves. This is essential since successful potty training relies on your child “wanting” to do it.
• Your child has a regular bowel movement pattern and can stay dry for at least two hours at a time. This means that they have some control over their bladder and bowel muscles and can recognize when they need to go. These are essential. The desire your child has to potty train must be matched by developmental ability.
• Your child can communicate when they need to go, either verbally or non-verbally. If your child isn’t showing this sign you will both just end up feeling endlessly frustrated. So it’s a must.
• Your child can follow simple instructions, Again, this is important because busy toddlers don’t always want to go when they need to go. You will need your baby to understand you and be able to be *somewhat* compliant.
• Your child can take off and put on their clothes. This is necessary for obvious reasons.

If you answered in the affirmative to all of the above, congratulations! Your little one is ready to potty train! If you don’t think your baby is ready to potty train though, don’t worry.

What You Can Do to Help Your Child Get Ready for Potty Training

If your child is not ready for potty training yet, you can try some of the following tips to help prepare them:

• Make sure your child is healthy and comfortable. Check with your pediatrician if your child has any medical issues that may affect their toileting.
  • Make sure your child is drinking enough water and eating a high-fiber diet to prevent constipation and hard stools.
  • Get your baby a child-size potty training seat so they can “go” comfortably.
• Make potty training fun and positive.
  • Read books and tell stories about potty training with your child.
  • Praise and reward your child for any and all progress they make. sitting on the potty, staying dry, or telling you when they need to go should all be a celebration!
• Teach your child what to expect and how to use the toilet.
  • Explain the process of toileting in simple and positive terms.
  • Show your child how you use the toilet (with your clothes on.)
  • Help your toddler understand how to pull down and up their pants, how to wipe their tush, flush the toilet, and wash their hands.
• Schedule regular potty breaks and reminders.
  • Have your child sit on the potty for a few minutes every two hours, as well as first thing in the morning and after naps.
  • Remind your child to listen to their body and tell you when they need to go.
  • Stay with your child and offer them encouragement and distraction while they sit.
• Be patient and flexible.
  • Do not punish your little one for accidents. Accidents are to be expected. They are simply a part of the learning process. When they inevitably happen, lovingly remind your child what to do next time.
  • Follow your child’s cues and adjust your approach as needed.

All of these things can help you and your baby have not just a successful, but a joyful potty training journey.

Want to learn more about caring for small children? See here: 9 Things Your Pediatrician Should Have Told You But Didn’t

At What Age Should You Worry About a Child Not Being Potty Trained?

There is no one-size-fits-all time to start or finish potty training.

Some parents may wonder if their child is taking too long or having difficulties with this process.

There is no need to worry or panic, there are some signs that may indicate that your child needs some extra help or support with potty training.

As we talked about above, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, most children in the United States have been potty trained by 4 years of age.

However, some children may take longer than others.

If your child has surpassed four years of age and still is not potty trained, or if they show signs of regression, resistance, or anxiety about using the toilet, you may want to talk to your child’s doctor. They may even refer you to a pediatric urologist. These medical professionals can help rule out any physical or psychological problems that may be negatively affecting your child’s ability to use the toilet successfully.

Some things your pediatrician may look at that can cause trouble with potty training include:

• Developmental delays or disabilities, which can affect your child’s ability to understand and follow instructions, communicate their needs, and control their bladder and bowel muscles
• Emotional stress or trauma, which can make your child feel insecure, fearful, or angry and affect their motivation and willingness to use the toilet
• Behavioral issues or power struggles, can make your child rebel against your expectations and refuse to cooperate with potty training

If you think your child may have any of the above, you may need to modify your approach to potty training. Talk with your pediatrician about your concerns and work closely with them. This will help you find solutions and keep realistic expectations for your child.

In conclusion

Potty training! It’s a lot. It’s definitely a journey. It takes time and patience but we can do it!

I hope you found this article helpful, informative, and useful!

Thanks bunches for reading!

Until next time,

Emma

Toilet Training | Pediatric Patient Education | American Academy of …. https://publications.aap.org/patiented/article/doi/10.1542/peo_document105/80105/Toilet-Training.
Average Age for Potty Training Boys and Girls: Tips and More – Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/average-age-for-potty-training.
The Right Age to Potty Train – HealthyChildren.org. https://healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/toilet-training/Pages/The-Right-Age-to-Toilet-Train.aspx.
Toilet Training | Johns Hopkins Medicine. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/toilettraining.

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Resources

Potty training: How to get the job done – Mayo Clinic.
The Best Potty Training Tips – Cleveland Clinic.
Potty Training Tips: Everything You Want to Know to Get Started.
When To Start Potty Training: Signs Of Potty Training Readiness.
Five signs your child is ready for potty training

Toilet Training | Johns Hopkins Medicine.

Average Age for Potty Training Boys and Girls: Tips and More – Healthline.